Is a Virtual Doula Right for You?

Recently I’ve been approached by moms who would like my support but aren’t anywhere near where I currently live. It occurred to me that much of my usefulness as a doula is about empowerment and education, which can be offered remotely from anywhere in the world! I have recently added Virtual Doula to my roster of services, in which I provide birth education, birth planning, lactation counseling and even a virtual presence during birth!

Birth education aside, it occurred to me that some might find offence to this interpretation or mode of birth support. Surely the usefulness of a birth aide is her physical presence during the birth? In most cases I’d agree that extra hands onsite during labor is a benefit. Skilled hands to massage, provide counter-pressure or a glass of water at the right moment is priceless! However as a doula who has attended many different families with a variety of birth styles, I can think of a few instances where a virtual presence during labor might be ideal.

A Precipitous Labor

Often women who have fast labors lament that their birth teams were unable to get to their side “fast enough” when they needed reassurance or advice.Often a doula’s wisdom is unavailable as they hurtle themselves down roads at barely legal speeds to make it to your bedside in time.A virtual doula is ready at your fingertips, alert and ready to guide you through whatever stage of the process you find yourself in, however quickly. Tips can be provided to whoever may be around you for fast physical support. If you are by yourself, with a virtual doula present via the internet, your process is calmly witnessed and you are NOT alone.

Unassisted/Free Birth

Much of the premise of unassisted birth or freebirth is centered on the understanding that a woman’s body works spectacularly in her home/ideal environment with relative solitude compared to what we might traditionally see in a hospital birth or even midwife attended homebirth. Similarly to the way a cat and most other animals pull away from the world to birth alone in an intimate space (to get the “birth juices” flowing right), so too does the unassisted birther need to be selective of what elements are in her haven. A virtual doula can be a tool providing labor input and quiet support for a partner/selected family members tending to a confident, independent birther, without “getting in the way”. A virtual doula can be kicked out” and brought back at will and that can be nice when all you need is to be alone in your process.

Hospital with Limited Attendance Policies

One of the toughest decisions to make is who to choose who to have by your side at the hospital during your labor. Often, especially during “flu season” hospitals may require that you invite on two people at a time into the room while you labor. It is a shock to have to turn away the doula you hired in favor of the comfort of a mother or vice versa. Often what ends up happening is an odd tag team dance between family members and birth support when all are wanted in unison. A virtual doula can still be “in the room” with you and your family should your hospital of choice have a similar policy. Familiar, knowledgeable support is at your disposal to help you understand and navigate your options, while staying within hospital parameters.

Long Distance/Remote Living/Doula Deserts

There are many cases in which a doula may not be available to you even if you desire one. Perhaps you have a particular person in mind, your doula soul mate, but a move or trip makes them not physically available to you when you go into labor. Many people live in what could be considered “Doula Deserts” where there isn’t enough experienced labor support to meet demand, and remote doulas from anywhere can witness and verbally support labors all over the globe! A virtual doula easily serves the needs of families who would like knowledgeable birth feedback during their labor but pricing of in person doula care makes that prohibitive. The implications of remote doulas on free support for low income communities could also be positive as it puts less strain on the doula happy to give her time.

"Shy" Birthers

I have heard many women say they are not comfortable with “outside people” in their birth space while they get into their birth groove and would prefer just their husbands to be present for the duration of their birth. For many men, being the sole support of their partner while they are in pain is an overwhelming task. Often doulas provide as much reassurance for a partner during the birth process as they do the mother who hired them. Having a remote doula can be the best of both worlds as you get informational support when you need it, but can control the level of involvement of that outside presence.

Ultimately, as women learn to trust their bodies and the inherent, almost “auto-pilot” quality of power behind birth, I believe the style of attendance needed will change. It excites me to envision a future where women openly choose from a wide spectrum of options the level of inclusion they desire into their intimate birth environment. My virtual doula offering is in the vane of providing another option for informational empowerment for women and their families, because the best outcome is a mother feeling that she has been assisted in the way that suits her best.

Much Love Always!

Zuri Sabir, CD-B/P

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