5 Ways You Already Rock at Birth.

Hey you with the baby in your belly! How are you feeling about your upcoming birth? Are you a little uneasy? Maybe you're not sure you're prepared for the unknown. Or maybe you're actually on some Wonder Woman stuff and you've conquered your doubts already! In any case, you'll see yourself in the following affirming 5 ways you're already a BOSS AF birther. When you recognize how amazing you are, you start to release tightness and embrace the truly exciting experience headed your way.

5 Ways YOU Already Rock at Birth:

1. You Didn't Fall to Pieces. For long anyway..

"D@M# that HURT!!" you screamed audibly or in your head. You just stubbed the crap out of your toe. I mean a real crusher. Your eyes teared up. You sat down and rocked back and forth with your foot cradled in your arms. Maybe you cursed out your couch, cat and significant other too. But when the moment passed, you limped away having let the pain and shock of the experience go. You found YOUR way to cope and you survived it. The intense sensations and overall experience of birth are very similar, albeit on a larger scale than stubbing your toe. Please hear me out.

As your birth approaches, you begin to prepare for your dreamy baby. You and loved ones stack rooms full of diapers and hunt down amazing deals on seats and clothes. During this process, also be on the hunt to explore the many methods for coping with your birth process. Once you've shopped around, found and practiced an effective coping strategy and are in labor, natural birth gives you ample chance to cope cope cope and then REST. Birth, especially un-medicated birth, has a rhythm. With a supportive and positive birth team, you can find great relief and reorientation in the spaces of time between the work of labor contractions, to whatever extent you experience them. Strategies will look different for every woman, the same way it does when we deal with smaller discontents, like the stubbed toe. For one person it could be "F*** YOU, I HATE THIS, AHHH" and another curled toes and "OM" get her through. The main point here is that you release the fear and shock of minor hurts daily, and that perspective of life after pain can be applied to the monolith of birth. Each contraction is a HECK of a "stubbed" uterus, but those lofty moments between are your chance to walk away mentally and say, "That's over, I've survived". When you take these intense sensations as one "stubbed toe", one bite of your birth elephant at a time, you'll look up with a baby in your arms and inherent trust in your ability to handle....pretty much anything that has an end.

2. You know how to treat yourself.

This one is a little tricky for some of us women. For others, treating yourself to luxury is like, "Duh", necessary for survival. I was one of the former group. I couldn't seem to schedule an appointment for my beautification to save my life. My husband and children looked amazing though I couldn't justify any time to myself. But BELIEVE I had my candy stash in the cabinets and late night (solo) chocolate cake parties. And it was glorious. I slowly realized that my candy bliss outs counted as self care. Sumptuous chocolate melting across my tongue made me smile and that was all that mattered, not the calories or any negative thought I may have had around my act of self love. Outward expressions of Self love and care are heartily important to successful birth and add up to a big difference in your experience. Embrace that fact and do it up!

Maybe it is a birth room plastered top to bottom with images of purple flowers and lit with countless flame-free candles. Or a custom ordered gown with matching slippers. In any way that feels right to you, it is crucial to craft and think of your birth experience as a treat to yourself and your growing family. When you feel special, you relax, when you relax you feel less tightening fear, when your fear is abated you can actually access the expansive emotional benefits of birth. If you are not used to throwing yourself grand gestures of self adoration like I wasn't when I gave birth to my babies, try planning your birth with that grand feeling you get at 1 am when you're eating cheesecake out of the fridge in mind. Your surroundings, birth team and experience should feel similarly sumptuous and cozy. Regardless of the circumstances and details of your birth, if your surroundings and positive team feel like a treat, it makes all the difference!

3. You're Curious.

If you've clicked this link, Oooo, you're one curious cat. You had to know exactly how hard you rock. Your epic curiosity has many benefits, but two important ones come to mind when applied to the arena of birth.

One, in the sussing out the details of your perfect experience! Wouldn't you like to know some Pinterest hacks that will get you a birth similar to Beyonce's? Or, whoa, did that lady really just give birth with a dolphin as her midwife?? These fun search sessions lead you to the environment and details that make you feel most nurtured through one of the biggest transitions of your life. Your curiosity will lead you to all the ways to make your ideal possible. This links in with birth handled as self care. If we apply the level of detail we look into the purchase of a car to the benefits of our various birth options, our curiosity will lead us to awesome things. Like a dolphin midwife. Seriously.

Two, when you're in labor, barring some medical circumstances, your curiosity should get you off your @$...erm... tushy. My uterus never was more angry feeling than when I was sitting still (and not in a deeply relaxed state, see later blog posts for this experience in detail). Physiologically, you're bottom parts work better when in motion, so let your curiosity guide you out of your head and bed. If you're laboring at home walk the block for as long as you can, allowing your curiosity to have you to spy on your neighbors. Or buy ice-cream from sonic. If you're at hospital, let your curious mind peek into the staff lounge (heeheehee) or have a chat with one of the moms on the recovery floor. Don't worry about contracting and coping in public, birth is an exciting part of living. Let others' curiosity have them learn something about the process. And you'll get love and big smiles too.

4. You've Survived Adulting ... So Far

Having a baby makes you put on your big girl undies. You're saving now. As much as you can with a cheesecake habit, anyway. And you're adjusting the flow of life plans and events. You're making a home ready for a shiny new being. I officially applaud you for adulting thus far. All of that practice will allow you to conquer the less fun details of pregnancy and birth. Selecting the right care for you and baby. For example, Interviewing millions of midwives and practitioners until you find the right match (I bounced between SIX practices before settling on the one that felt right late in the pregnancy of my first child). And investing money in things that will make your birth go smoothly (like a DOULA - a FUN investment, fyi). It's your ability to do stuff that isn't as great as eating a pizza that will ensure you will do what it takes to have the birth you want. And that is exciting.

5. You have a sense of humor.

Essential. 100% Essential is a sense of humor while birthing. And if you chuckled at any point in this blog post - because I'm the funniest ever - yours is working. With all the belching, farting, falling off birth balls, exposed booties and wonderful grossness involved in the birth process, you've got to let go and let yourself be human. Labor only around a close group of people who won't mind if your amniotic fluid bursts all over them (it stains) and will cheer you on when you throw up the ice-cream you bought after peeking in on your neighbors earlier.

You are an incredible soul mounted in a miraculous birthing machine. I hope you see that you already have all of the things you need to have an amazing experience. Adult enough to create a birth environment dripping with self love, that honors your emotional and physical needs and beliefs. The world can't wait to hear about your rock star status as we coo over your beautiful bub. HAVE FUN, BE GREAT!

Much love, always!

Zuri Sabir, Certified Doula

#Birth #naturalbirth #holistic #Doula #thirdtrimester #pregnancy #painmanagement #meditation #spiritual